Relationships with family, friends and partners all involve feelings. Some guidance for young people on crushes, flirting, cheating and treating others with respect.
Relationships are not just about what happens in your love life. Most important relationships involve feelings but no romance, for example with family, friends and teachers.
As a teenager, you have more freedom than when you were younger. Adults around you are beginning to trust you to look after yourself, and with this freedom comes responsibility. You will encounter new situations and new ideas everywhere, and love, sex and the way you relate to people can be some of the most significant.
Relationships have their ups and downs. To make them work well, good communication and respect are important. Everyone has the right to feel safe and happy. Try not to judge people before you get to know them; sometimes the most rewarding relationships are with the most unexpected people.
It is normal to suddenly have strong feelings, or a crush, on someone. It is up to you whether you keep these feelings private, express them to the person directly or speak to a friend first.
Speaking your feelings aloud puts you in a vulnerable position. If your feelings are not returned, you may feel exposed and rejected. If they are returned, you may find yourself in an exciting new friendship or relationship.
You may also find that someone has a crush on you but you do not feel the same way. Try to treat this person the way you would want to be treated, and be honest and clear about your feelings.
Sometimes we like someone instantly, and other times we get to know them slowly. Flirting does not necessarily lead to dating; it is often just a way of finding out that someone likes us, or letting others know we like them. Everyone expresses their feelings differently, so remember that some people only give very subtle cues about how they feel.
It is also important to remember that flirting is never an open invitation for sex or unwanted advances. If you think someone is flirting, it does not mean they want to sleep with you, and just because you flirt with someone, it does not mean you owe them anything.
Cheating is when one person in a relationship is secretly intimate with someone outside the relationship. If you are the one who cheated, it helps to own your actions and be clear with yourself about why you did it and how you feel. “Because I was drunk” is not a real answer: even under the influence of alcohol, we still have the capacity to make choices. You might ask yourself:
If any of these is the case, it may be kinder to both of you to end the relationship rather than let things drag on. If you want the relationship to continue, think about why you cheated. Either way, you need to accept responsibility for your actions.
If someone has cheated on you, you are probably feeling hurt and upset. If you have lost trust in the other person, you will need to ask yourself whether you want the relationship to continue. Talking it through with someone you trust can help, and you might find it useful to call Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800.
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